Life is all about making choices. And that includes a balance.

That's one of the things that hit me most when I first came to KL. With good choices comes good results, bad choices comes bad consequences. We can't run from it. The final say of our lives is in our hands.

3.33am I was reading through a few blogs me friends. Some had a great life - studied abroad, went touring all around Europe and Asia, shop all they want, and are happily attached. Some was pretty sad - emo posts.

Everyone did what they wanted to. Most of them followed their heart and feelings. So it kept me thinking.. What have I been doing these years? For me, I've been following my head.

Since 3 or 4 years back, I got tired of my messy life of following my heart. I learnt to do what's right instead of what feels right. It wasn't easy at the beginning, but I pulled through. I learnt self-control, discipline and at times, putting up a show(you can't break down in public can you?) My life improved. Everyone saw the change in me. It was productive and fabulous. At some point, I forgot how was it like to follow the heart.

I had great dreams and great visions. Great big ones for nations.

But tonight, I'm gonna have a little balance. Let's follow the heart. Home's always a place where I can do so. I sit in various unglam positions in front of my homies, slept with my mouth wide open on the couch and sing as loud as I want. I really appreciate all of them for putting up with me.

Tonight, I'm writing a song. A song of all my worries, all my fears and all my disappointments. So here comes the head saying: "What if people knows about it and stumbles?"
So I told the head: "Hey, I'm not a hypocrite. My heart is heavy tonight and there's nothing I got to hide."

So it goes......

The clock's ticking on the wall
When will it ever stop
People walking in the mall
Trying out that beautiful top

Friends for life is what they call
But who's there when your tears drop
In love with you now I fall
But things just ain't how I thought

Chorus:
How long more is this gonna stay
How far more is the promises you made
I'm losing it without you
Can't take the distance anymore
Let me feel you
One more time please

Ok I'm pretty sleepy now. Verse 2 and bridge? To be continued :)

Who's Crystal Low. What does she wants?

Went out and met my highschool mates tonight. The chat was great asking each other how are we doing and what's our next plans. But it kinda turned pretty awkward from me when one of them asked 'I thought you went to spread religion?' (It's in Chinese so pls excuse my grammar.) I didn't know how to answer for a moment cause it sounded like I'm some cult....

So it kept me thinking while I'm home showering just now. Am I really such a 'cult' to my friends? Maybe I was.. But does it really matter? What have I been doing these 4 years? I seem so irrelevant to people my age. So I bathed and thought about how my life has been these years. At last, I smiled. I knew I was a better person. I knew that I want the broken like me to know there's hope, there's a future, there's a life to live. I want the thousands and millions to know that they have a second chance. I want to introduce them one thing called Love. And the love I know of is Jesus. :)

Finally the questions comes - Why are you still single? Set your standards lower!
So why? What type of guy am I really looking for?
I searched my heart and I found the answer - A man that will make a difference.
A man that will live for others and change the world he live in.

So yeah! Stop bugging me aight? I'm reserving my best for this one and only! Let's keep on searching! :)