People. People. People.

Every day, without fail the most common thing we will see is people. When you leave your condo, you meet the guard at the gate. When you are stuck at home, you go online or watch tv, people are there. It is simply something that you can never avoid.

I believe that every season in life has it's purpose, and that includes the people that are placed in our lives as well. There are people who comes into our lives and paints a colourful rainbow over it such as our family members, our spouse and people whom we love and treasure. Some on the other hand paints a thunder storm such as your backstabbing colleague, or the snatch thieve that has stolen your belongings. Nonetheless, there some that doesn't even cause the weight of a hair.

People around you may come and leave. Your close buddies will part from you to further their studies, siblings will leave home and build their own family, or some even to an extent where death takes place. These changes are happening constantly sometimes even without us noticing it. But the problem here is, we are not ready for it.

We are all emotional beings. It is an undeniable fact that we will feel sad, hopeless and dislike and most of the time, all these feelings are caused by the people around us. But sadly, alot of times people especially Christians put up a mask to cover their feelings. Christians often have the mentality that as a Christian they should portray a happy joyful image all the time. Thus, they suppress their emotions and keep moving on. Or some on the other hand are simply too prideful to show their weakness. They refuse to let others know that they are hurting. They want people to see them as a strong and healthy person. These people are nothing more than an insecure person that is afraid of the eyes of the world. Unfortunately, they just made themselves into a time bomb, and when the pile of junk that is not dealt with piles up, the bomb will explode.

Many will ask, 'If God is a good God, why don't He place good people in your lives instead? Why must He place bad people in good people's lives.' Well, the fact is this. God never promised us a good and smooth sailing life. But He promised us a life of victory which means we can overcome the obstacles in life. God is move concern about our character than our comfort. Thus, He allows bad people to come in to our lives so that we can learn to handle them with a good attitude and grow stronger. Thinking about it, I will really rather be a person that can take offenses and still be continue loving than crying like a baby every time people upsets me. And I thank God for giving me all the opportunities to mold my character.

I remembered some time ago, I used to hide up my feelings. Confrontation was the number one thing I would avoid. I would put a smile up on my face and pretend that I am happy with everything. I would have my own secret ways of escape whenever I'm upset. There are times where I will even condemn myself for being sad. I thought things are fine and well covered up, but the truth is everyone who loves me knew I was not alright. So one day, my beloved leader Shirley sat me down and began to open up the can of worms. The ugliness within was finally revealed. I began to pour out how hurting I feel in the inside of me, how empty, how broken, how offended etc. I finally put down my mask. And that was the time she smiled at me and said "Today I finally know that Crystal is a human being." =.= I was actually waiting for some rebuking or whatsoever. But instead, she only showed me love, letting me know that I am not the only one who suffers certain issues, it's very common to people and I don't need to be upset with myself for that. She assured me that no matter what happened, I am still loved by God. So as time goes by, I am restored, and I began to know my secure identity.

One of the ways Shirley restored me is by teaching me that emotions are real. We must not suppress it but my should deal with it with appropriate ways. We need to be honest with ourselves. Never feel that we are alone in the situation, help is just a phone call away.

In the whole 2009, God has been working a lot in my relationships. He took away 3 people whom I am closest to, place me in a new cell group that I am not really familiar with(today I love each and everyone of them to bits) and even place in people that have wounded and hurt me. At the end of the day, I really learnt that human beings are not perfect and that includes myself. But God is the only one who is perfect and I can depend on Him all the time. Unlike people, He never fails my expectations. And the best thing is, He loves me with the greatest love in the world. If I have the greatest love of all, what is there to be afraid of?

I believe the best highlight of the year is God changing my lenses (just like in the song The Rising) With His love, I began to see the in depths of things. For example, when people speak words that hurt me, i realized that the reason is not really because they want to hurt me, but instead it was because of their insecurities that caused them to not know how to respond to me. And because of that, I no longer feel offended but rather I have a compassion for them. At the end of the day, I've learnt I am loved, and my calling is to love. No matter how difficult it is, I will still choose to love.

我最要好的朋友

Today was a long day. A fruitful one I would say. One of the highlights is having to spend time talking with one of my close friend. Everyone has been busy for the whole season. I was happy to be able to catch up, but yet I found things or maybe I should call it 'secrets' that were not made known to me. And the worst part is, the friend kinda regretted after sharing.

Well, I understand that people keep their secrets. Sometimes they need to protect themselves, sometimes they need to protect others. But secret is also something that will either build a relationship or destroy it.

For my case, nothing much was broken, nothing was build either. But one thing I know is that God is allowing this to happen not because He wants me to be sad. But rather, He is simply reminding me not to rely on human relationships but to realize that He is the only one that can meet all my needs and He will never disappoint me.

So I spent some time with Him, and with all His faithfulness, He gave me a song to restore me. I can't play any instruments, so there is only lyrics. And oh ya! This time, it's a Chinese song. ;)

Here it goes........

朋友在我的身边 多得我数不清
路过的 真心的 我再也都分不清

一起走过的路我都还记得
一起有过的欢笑依然在我的脑海里

怎么了 是我变了吗 还是我们从来没有真正认识过
怎么了 是我被遗忘了吗 时间怎么在我们之间建筑了一到厚厚的墙
那熟悉的你们在哪里
失望 难过 把我深深地淹没

走着 哭着 突然听到了个熟悉的声音
转过身 回头望
看到那伤痕累累的手 才明白最爱我得人其实是祢
看见我的狼狈过去 才领悟到那伤痕的来源其实是我
祢总在我的雨天画上彩虹
祢总在黑暗里抹走我的泪光

此刻, 我找到了最爱我的祢
我找到了我最好的朋友

U.N.K.N.O.W.N

11pm, Nov 23rd 2009. Bob, Melvyn and Myself went for a movie called Planet 51. I've waited very long for this movie and I've actually mistaken that it was Monsters VS Aliens.

The show was funny with TONS of lame jokes and it twisted usual scenarios of alienation whereby this time they made the human the alien that enters into another planet.

As the show was ending, the main character, Lem said something that I pondered upon. He said this to the army commander as he was going to kill the human, "You are not afraid of aliens, you are not afraid of them taking over the world, you are simply afraid of the UNKNOWN!" That's right! Through out the movie, the little green beings(the living things on that planet) were a large community. And yet, they were afraid of one human being. In a worst extend, they came out with their own imaginations thinking that the human could actually hypnotize and control them and even destroy their world. Isn't this familiar? A lot of times when new things happen, when changes take place, because we do not know what are the things that are going to happen, we lost the picture of who we are, forget about our own strengths and power and we even magnify the issue. We became intimidated by the UNKNOWN.

Thinking a little bit further, it reminded me that this is also the main reason why people simply fail to breakthrough or move out from their comfort zone. It's not that they're not good enough, it's not that they're bounded by their circumstances, it's just because they're afraid of the change that is going to take place. Something that they cannot grasp. Thus, some people even keep themselves in their "own prison", never being able to break free.

1 John 4:17-18
¹⁷ Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

Fear is the number 1 reason for worries and doubts to take place in our mind. It is a powerful weapon that the enemy constantly uses to hinder us from doing great things and breaking free from out circumstances. But looking at the verse above, we know that God has promised us that through His love, there will be no fear. But how is His love like? How do we know when we have His love?

In 1 John 4:16 it says that "God is Love." The only way for us to know how God's love is like is to know Him. In v18 it says "But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.". This simply means that the reason we have fear in our lives is because we do not know him completely. We have yet to have the perfect revelation of who God is. God is the creator of heaven and earth. Everything that is in our lives, including our blessings and even problems are created by him. In order for us to know how to deal with the problem, we must know the creator. As we continue to seek for His purpose and reasons, we need to seek for who we are too because problems and challenges are created for us to overcome them. Thus, we need to understand the relativity between the issue and us in order to fight the battle well. We need to know who we are in order to have a powerful and accurate strategy.

In Matthew 16, Jesus was asking Peter who does he think He is.
¹⁵ He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”
¹⁶ Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
¹⁷ Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. ¹⁸ And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. ¹⁹ And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

Peter had the revelation of who Jesus is. And right after that, Jesus gave him the revelation of who he is and his destiny as the verse shows "¹⁸ And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. ¹⁹ And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.". So in order for us to know who we are, we must first know who our creator is. And the best way for us to gain that revelation is through reading His word. Once we know our creator, we can find out what were we created for. And through that, we will ultimately know how to tackle all the challenges in our lives.

Live is a journey, challenges are not dead ends, but rather they are springboards for us to reach the next level. Change is the most constant thing in life. Some people fear it, some people hide from it and some people are even destroyed by it. But on the other hand, changes brings growth and changes brings transformation. So to face and slay the giant or to run away and hide, your choice! ;)

My best 20th Birthday Gift

Walking pass the bookstore...

BOOKSHOP!!!

Yeah I marched myself towards it and started exercising my little fingers.

Browse.. Read.. Flip.. Flip..

*Tink Tink Tink*

As I was browsing through the book "The Secrets of Men" (I was thinking of getting it for some guy friends).. This little paragraph caught me.

Note: I'm putting it in the way I can remember, I cannot remember the exact words the author used.

One of the secrets the book stated down about men is the issue of Pornography.

The author wrote at a point of view that I had never thought of before.

According to the author, studies showed that most men felt guilty and bad after indulging themselves in pornography. The fact that a man would want to indulge himself in pornography is because he lost his completeness and wholesomeness that was originated by God in the garden of Eden. It is actually painful and sad for a man that indulges himself in pornography because of the lack of completeness in his soul.

When God created man and woman, they had such intimacy that they were naked in front of one another. They love, romance and had affections for one another openly in front of God. So there was a very deep intimacy between the 3 of them. But when sin came, Adam and Eve got the knowledge of good and evil, and God begin to cloth them with animal skins since ancient times . Thus, there is this desire in man to strip the layers off his other half(woman) to fulfill his emptiness and regain his wholeness that was intended in the first place. And yes, pornography became a 'tool' for them to regain a temporary fulfillment.

We do not need to go to university to know that pornography is something bad. The Canadian Dictionary of the English Language defines pornography as "sexually explicit material that sometimes equates sex with power and violence." (1997).

Many man in the world push their responsibilities away by saying "What to do? God created us hamsap! Or else your parents won't even give birth to you. Isn't it better that I watch porn than to have sex with some other girl."

Well, we should all be responsible with that we have done. Even tough God designed us in certain ways, He design us with the ability to CHOOSE as well. We were all given the power of freewill. It is a fact that we can choose to say Yes or No to pornography.
The one and only way to fight pornography is to look into the roots. The author has clearly stated that the reason man indulge in pornography is to seek for the wholeness that they lost in the garden. Is there any way to get wholeness to fill the incompleteness?
YES! and we can find it from the creator of all. God is the one who created man and women. He created the wholeness in us. And the best way to seek completeness is to get from the One that creates and gives. In order for a man to come out from the temptation of pornography, he has to understand that only God alone can give us to originally intended completeness. In order to fill the emptiness in him, he has to seek it and draw from God and not the other things in the world.

Hey You..

This is the lyrics of my first very very very own song to Daddy who has always been watching over me, took care of me and restored me.
Some parts of the lyrics were little thoughts that I had for Him in this season.


__Hey You__
Lyrics: Crystal Low

Verse
Hey there You there You that have been watching me
From the day that I was born

You've seen my ups and downs
Laughed and cried with me
Protected me Strengthened me and Loved me

Chorus
Oh How could this be such amazing love, given to me
Oh How I wish, I could get to know You before
King of Heaven and Earth
That died for me
and the Love of My Life
You're the Love of My Life

Verse 2
Jesus You came
So that I could live again
Showed me my true destiny

One minute please, You plead
Some other time, I replied
I've turned my back
But there you are always waiting for me

Chorus
Oh How could this be such amazing love, given to me
Oh How I wish, I could get to know You before
King of Heaven and Earth
That died for me
and the Love of My Life
You're the Love of My Life

Oh draw near to me hold me close to you take me away
Oh come and restore this little broken heart of mine
Your strength makes me new
I'll cling on to You
You are all that I need
I just want to love you


***
Hey there you there
I've been watching over you
Hush don't cry I'm here for you ;)

Specially for You :)

This is a special shell, personally picked by me and decorated by me for one of the closest person to my heart - Jan.
Hope you'll like it.
Will let you see the real thing when you come back.
Miss you always :)

It spells f.i.c.t.i.o.n

241am. The princess woke up after an emotional migraine.
It was as if 90% of her energy was drained out.

She's moving out.
Reading through all the letters that were sent to that house.
None was real, none of them came true.
She let out a smile from the sourish heart.

Walking around the house,
the guitar was spotted lying lifelessly.
Songs began to play in her head.
Singing along, she knew she'd never hear them again.

All the TV shows will never to be fun to watch for a second time.
All the games will not be exciting to be played alone.
The rides in the car lost it's chatters and laughter.
The plants were dying without somebody to water and nurture them.

She kept on walking.
Looking at every single corner the memories laid.
Knowing that it's not coming back again, she let out a tear.

Locking the door, leaving the key behind.
"Perhaps the house was meant for someone else."

The Tree. Pokok.

Few days ago, as I was evaluating my own life (I do that quite often), I was troubled with the thought that I'm not so "productive" as I used to be. Actually I realized this quite some time ago (as I said, I self evaluate frequently) but finally, after a great period of time, I found my answer.

Now let me first tell you about how "productive" I was previously. (Starting from when I first joined City Harvest Church)
... I get straight As in my exams.
... I finish my assignments on time with excellence.
... I can attend 2-3 cell groups a week and I never get bored.
... I can attend all the weekend services and still be excited for everyone of them.
... I serve my friends whenever I can. (Buy them food, help them carry their stuff etc)
... My family sees a major change in me. My mum was sooooo proud of me.
And the list goes on........

Basically, my capacity was great that time. And I was really walking under open heavens.

So what makes the difference between now and then?

*Jeng jeeng jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeng*

During those good old days, I was very on fire. Everyday, everything that I do is about GOD!

Things changed when I took the wrong step as my ministry and responsibilities were increasing.
When my responsibilities increased, I somewhat worry that I might not be able to do well in my studies. As a result of that.....
I shifted my focus.
I shifted my focus to my studies, I started to build on it but somehow I find myself not as effective as previously.
Then I find other areas of my life on fire too.
So all that I can do is to keep on putting off all the fires. I can no longer build and I need to fire fight all the time.

I'll give you a more in depth explanation with the cacat tree diagram below. Looking at this tree, the trunk and the roots(God) is the basic fundamental for the whole plant. The branches (basic areas in life) is the outcome and growth that is produced by the body of the tree.
So what I did previously was shifting my focus from God (the body of the tree) into other areas such as my studies (the branches of the tree).
So when this happened, I'm actually nurturing the branches of the tree. Now we don't need rocket science to know that water and fertilizers are to be given to the root.
Therefore, I did not only failed to build my studies(the branch), but other areas(other branches) died as well.

As I was spending time with Shirley today, she advised me to really use the years of my twenties for great visions and purposes. It's the prime time of our whole life. And sadly, this is also the time where people become self-centered and they start to live for their own dreams(building their life, career etc.) As a result of that, they chose to focus on the world where their so called dreams and visions lye and lay aside their great destiny with God. This is the best time for us to do things that is greater than our own dreams. Do not limit God by telling Him what is your desired little dreams and visions, you will never know what greater plans He has installed ahead of you.

Looking at my life today, I'm 19 going 20. And I'm leading 2 cell groups, I'm the youngest cell leader in church. Every week I travel to far away places such as Seri Kembangan and Cyberjaya to preach and lead the cell group and to spend time with my members, and right now I've even been sent for mission work overseas. I'm actually reaching out to help and touch lives in the world. How many people at my age can do this? If today I were to be an ordinary person who only wants to build my career and focus only on my studies, I'm sure all these will not take place.


If you're reading this post today, I just have something for you to ponder upon.
"Is there something out there in this world, greater than your own dreams and visions, even greater than your own life and perhaps you have missed it."

...Visual DNA...

A song that touches me alot. Last time.

A very Jay Chow-ish Jay Chow written song.
Nice!
Like the lyrics.

The 20th Anniversary. The Happy Sister

Saturday, 10pm. Clement and Hazel rushed me to Pudu to catch a bus.
Yup. I've was rushing to JB so that I can go to S'pore the next day for the CHC S'pore 20th Anniversary and also the FOP.
I was so excited and I can't wait to go and support our dear Pastor Kevin and Esther for their testimony sharing.

So.......................

Here's how it goes..

The brother and I got up at 930am. (We were in JB!) Service starts at 11.30am. OH NOOO!!!
So we rushed like chickens crossing road to get ready, buy breakfast, pump petrol, change some SGD and head to S'pore.
It would be very jam for us to take the first link. Thus we took the second link. But the problem here is......... How to get to the Indoor Stadium from there?????!!!

Well... thanks to the commercials in the cinema, I tried GOOGLE MAP on my cell phone. And guess what, IT WORKED! It brought successfully brought us to the Indoor Stadium. (I have no idea how much will my phone bill be. 3G in S'pore. Aiksss)

12.30pm - Arrived.
Praise and Worship just ended. We're just in time for CHC TV and of course....... Pastor's sharing!!! (Clap Clap)
The place was so packed, we only got to sit at the south zone (the back of the stage) thus we were watching the screen all the time.

Pastor's testimony really made me feel proud of being a part of this great family. 8 years of God's faithfulness. =)
This is one of the shots I got from their 20 years journey short clip. Pastor Kong laying hands for someone. WOW!
One of the most amazing thing that shook me that day was the CHC Children's Church worship team. Man! You won't believe this. As young as they are, probably in 6 or 7 years old, they lead the whole Indoor Stadium congregation into praise and worship. The were so energetic and powerpacked!! They even have their own kids choir!(OMG) I was totally blown away!
(My favourite one was the acoustic guitarist. You will surely agree with me if you were there!)

This is a service that relates to me alot. Pastor Kong challenged us after his preaching to love God more and more. He expressed how grateful he is for the amazing 20 years with God.
So do I. 20 years marks the page I am today. I cannot find words to express how great God is to give me these wonderful 20 years.
20 years is the beginning of the church to move and unleash the fullnest of the power and greatness of God.
To me, it is not only the begining of adulthood. It is also the start of my real and radical journey with God!
I love You!

The end? (Touched and Sobbing*) Nah!!! I had other fun activities in S'pore too!
Which is.............................
Visiting my bestie!!! Woo Hoo!

This little chillie padi is currently studying in NUS. Out of my horror, she actually came out ALONE to a part of S'pore where she never been to before(Bugis) to meet up with me! Thank God she didn't lost her way.(Phewh~)
We had our yummy MOS burger and a quick shop in Bugis Junction.
I was so happy to see her. Really missed her when she went to S'pore. (I missed her so much that I curi curi check on her FB everyday to see how's she doing! Shhh.. Don't let her know k!)
And guess what, she bought me a cap there! I love it soooooo much! =)

Next stop - Festival Of Praise
It was truly a blast! The True Worshipers and Bob Fits were incredibly amazing. And not to forget, the man of God, Pastor Mark Conner.


This is truly a full day of excitement for me. And I know that all these would not happen if not for my sacrificial brother. Even tough he did some funny stuff such as buying a map which he doesn't know how to read, he tried his best to meet all my demands and request. He even brought me to detour the S'pore City after the all the events. I'm so blessed. Thanks koko! One of the best highlight of my trip is to be able to have a great time with you. You made me the happiest sister on earth that day! I love you!

The Outing with Ah Fen! @ Snowflake

Finally! I get to go to Snowflake! :D :D :D :D :D
Thanks to Miss Hu who is willing to go with me!
So here's some pics!

This is a self service shop. After you place your order and pay, they will hand you a "Beeping UFO" and you're suppose to go collect your orders when it beeps.Before it beeps.

When it beeps!
Bestseller(Hui Fen told me it's called bestseller) and Yao Zha KuaiNice! Yum yum!Burp~!

Happy Day - Another book!!!

11am (AAHHHH!!! We're late for work!) Mr. Wong Tai Loong must be wondering where is his 2 staffs.
So there starts my journey of my cg offering counting. Today the boss brought us a helper - Mr. Andrew from the Moscow Students Fellowship. Indeed we managed to finish it faster! :D
*counting counting counting*
"Riiiiiiinnnnngg (Nokia ringtone)" Hazel's phone rang. Her mummy called. So as my part of the job was finished, I wandered into Attributes to check out the books.
*Scanning Scanning Scanning*
*Ting!!!! (Light bulb ligthed up)* a small little black book caught my eyes.
After flipping for some time, I turned to the back to check the price. Invest?(I just bought a book few days ago) Answer? YES!
As excited as I was, I continued scanning the book shelves.
*Ting!!!* another book caught my attention.
Title: The Second Part for The Man in The Mirror (something like that. I can't remember)
Suddenly I thought of a close friend who could relate to the book. So I thought perhaps I could bless that friend. But as I continue to explore the book, I realized its for men in the midlife. My friend is certainly not at that stage yet. So that middle-sized yellow book went back to the shelf again.

Joey wasn't around. So I went back to work and at the same time wait for him to come back so that I can pay for my NEW BOOK!
*Minutes later*
Joey is back! So with all excitement I went to pay for my book. (Dancing around in my heart)
I can't wait to quickly finish, pack up and start reading.
Now then, the boss came in. Oh it's salary giving time!
Guess what.. my salary was the price of the book I just bought! Woo Hoo!
I've earned myself a book today!!!

Ok Ok. I know you must be thinking "So what book did you bought actually?"

*Jeng Jeng Jeng*

Title: Spiritual Warfare for Every Christian by Dean Sherman
Ahem.. Ahem.. I have a clarification to make. The cover of my book TOTALLY DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THIS. This was the picture I found online.
Mine is a black cover with red metalic writings and a cool knight on it. (Will show you guys next time after I snap a photo of it)
Here's a brief review of the book I found online.

"God has called Christians to overcome the world and drive back the forces of evil and darkness at work within it. Spiritual warfare isn't just casting out demons; it's Spirit-controlled thinking and attitudes. Dean delivers a no-nonsense, both-feet-planted-on-the-ground approach to the unseen world."

So have you read the book? How was it?

Yes.. I've finished one and a half chapters. My point of view.... The review that on top was TOO BRIEF. I was totally blown away by the first one and a half chapters. In every sub-chapter there is something for me to learn and digest. This little book is pointing out one of the MAJOR KEY that is missing in most of our lives. Something that we have been ignorant about - The call of God for us to attack the kingdom of the devil and to break and destroy all their evil plans. By saying this, the author is saying that though we have weekend services and cell group meetings etc we may not be neccesary challenging and attacking the kingdom of the devil. We are not neccesarily doing something that will stop the works of the devil. *Whoah* Big revelation to me. This book teaches us to not only defend and protect ourselves from spiritual attacks but to actually GO OUT AND DESTROY THE WORKS OF THE DEVIL.

This book is not a book based only on studies and researches of the author, but it is built upon the author's own life experience and of course the most powerful Word of God.
Be it Christians or non Christians, the kingdom of the devil is not a stranger to us. But yet how much do we know about it? It's crucial for all of us to know what is opposing us and do something about it. So.. GET THE BOOK! (The last one in Attributes is in my house right now *Oops*) haha.. If you're interested, try asking Joey Sia or searching other bookstores alright?

Want more review about the book? Want to know what I've learnt from it? Stay tuned, sit back and wait then.

P/s: I think it would be better if you yourself can get your own personal revelation from the book. Trust me. You'll be blown away. =)

CHCKL 8th Anniversary Gala Dinner

Kar Poh and I with Pastor and Esther

Andrew - The best guy to take picture with. He has the best height and body! Will definitely make girls look slim :P

Woot woot! Sandra in a dress!

Nickey - My director

Min, Szee and I

One of the twins - Alfred

Shawn Lee - M'sia No.1 Beatboxer

Yeah yeah there we go again :)

I Heart them! <3

The Secrets Women Keep

As I was helping my brother to get the book he wanted from the Popular Bookstore in Sunway Pyramid yesterday, I accidentally came across this amazing little book. After flipping some pages and reading the brief description behind, I took the book to the counter and paid for it.

The Secrets Women Keep... Hmm... Well if you're a guy and you're attracted to the title of this book hoping that it would give you a sneak peak of what's in a woman's head, I guess you should be quite disappointed. It's more than the secrets women keep from men. It's the secrets that weighs and burdens us. The secrets that we hide from the world and even ourselves.

What are secrets? Secrets are the things that we hide. Are there good and bad ones? Yup. Good secrets are things like your private prayers, your tithes and offerings, things that we do not need to parade for the world to see. They are the secret we keep between us and God. What about bad ones? Bad ones are often associated with lies and it serves to cover up the ugly part of us. Even as kids we learn to keep bad secrets. We keep these secrets to escape from the responsibility or consequences that we need to bear. We do it to keep ourselves comfortable.

Be it Christians or non Christians, we keep secrets. But as Christians, we tend to do it more often. Why? That is because we often tell ourselves that as Christians we must keep a good witness, we must keep Christianity looking good. So we hid all the sins that we've done, bad decisions that we've made and burry it to ourselves. But at the end of the day, we turn ourselves into a timebomb of guilt ticking rapidly and ready to explode anytime. But being holy or being a good testimony is not only to be portrayed infront of the people around us. It is a commitment that we make to live a life that is right before God.
One of the examples quoted in the book are Christians in an unhappy or problematic marriage. Just because all these people believe that as Christians we're suppose to portray a healthy marriage and its against God to divorce, they hid the problems that they face to themselves. Be it the communication problem between spouses or sexual problems, they take it on themselves. As a result of that, they harvour bitterness in them, blinded by the truth, thinking that this is their fate, the will of God in their lives and nothing else could be done to change that. The more we stay in the dark with our secrets, the more bitter we're going to be. The enemy loves to keep us there and he often uses guilt to make us feel shameful and embarrassed to seek for help.

I always tell my disciples and members that if they find any area of their lives that they could not share openly with me, it will certainly be sin or something shameful that they do not wish that it would be exposed. Don't be a bondage of sin and shame. If you keep hiding it, you will be tortured by guilt and condemnation of not being accountable. But when you choose to expose it to light, you will not only find out that all the judgements that you fear would happen will not happen but also to find another person that will fight this battle with you. You're now 2 times stronger to fight the battle. Isn't that a better choice?

In this book, Dr. Jill Hubbard brings up issues that are messing with a women's heart and provides solutions for them to be set free. She talks about secrets of Marriage and Relationships(being single, friendship), Sexuality(different sexual needs between husband and wives, sexual addictions), Our Inner Lives(spiritual disconnections, depressions), Our Sense of Self(feeling inadequate, haunted by our past) and about Our Personnal Issues(finances, drugs and alcohol). This are the struggles that we do not talk about over the dinner table. It is often issues that leads us to cry in our beds alone at night. If you are the person who faces all these struggles, I highly recomend you to get the book and take radical steps to be set free from it.

As a girl myself and as a cell leader, I'm glad that this book is once again a fruitful investment that I've made.
My vision for 2009 is to be a tower of refuge. Thanks to this book, I'm now one step closer and stronger. =]

When the Bangs Meet the Curls

It's the first time I got my hair curled! So.... Wah lah!!!

My personal favourite :)